Dear bride-to-be,

Dear 20-Somethings (D20S) is an advice column dedicated to helping you navigate the challenges and uncertainties of your twenties. You have the chance to anonymously submit questions to our advice columnist, Betty, who offers tailored advice and support to guide you through this transformative phase of life.

This interview has been shortened for clarity.


Question from a bride-to-be:

I recently booked my wedding venue and my wedding is only a few months away. I changed my availability at work because I need time to plan and travel to different vendors for the wedding. My boss is aware of this, sat me down and threatened to demote me because of my change of availability. She then asked me if I just wanted to work part time even though I’m currently full time. I’ve trained everyone in the office myself, I stay longer, I come in early, even on my days off.

I am feeling extremely betrayed by this and I feel as if I’m overreacting but my wedding and my life outside of work will always come first to me. What should I do?


Answer from Betty:

Cheers to you on your engagement, queen! What an exciting (and busy) time in your life.

Sounds like your boss is laying down the law. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t try to work towards a middle ground. We <3 compromise! You clearly value this job, and it sounds like weekend work is expected. Maybe you should have a follow-up chat with your boss. If there’s a little wiggle room on your end, perhaps you can figure out a schedule that works for you and meets your boss’ needs, like working every other weekend.

However, if this job is no longer serving you and you need every weekend free, then it’s time to start looking for another j-o-b. When your boss disrespects your boundaries once, they are likely to do so again. You deserve a workplace that’s as adaptable and flexible as you are, and you should see what’s out there. Maybe you can find another position that would work better for you right now.

All the best, bestie! I hope you and your boss can work something out and she recognizes how important you are to the team! <3


Have a question for Betty? Your submissions are confidential, and while we may not respond to every inquiry, we review all submissions to ensure a diverse range of topics.

Please remember, our advice is not a substitute for medical advice or professional help.

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